I’ve almost died numerous times. I had overdosed. It hit me that I was so alone. No matter how bad you think you are, or what you’ve done, or where you’re at in life, God can turn it around.

My parents got divorced when I was probably around four or five years old. There was lots of fighting and arguing, and my mother remarried. My stepfather was an abusive alcoholic. I think that’s part of why I was such a hurt person. I carried wounds from a young age, believing I was never good enough, that I wasn’t loved, and that if I had never been born, the world would have been a better place.

Throughout most of my teen years, I chose to get mixed in with the wrong people and the wrong friends. It started with smoking weed, drinking, and taking pills. I was in and out of juvenile detention. I had my hand blown up with a shotgun, and that was the first time I was introduced to morphine on a pump. I remember the flood that came over me, the feeling that sent me back in the hospital chair. It gave me pain relief, not just physically, but emotionally.

The problem was that you build up a tolerance. It starts with a simple pill and keeps climbing until the doctor says he’s not giving you pills anymore. Then you’ve got a habit, and you go to the street to get it. Before you know it, you’re doing heroin. When you’re addicted and sitting in your bedroom injecting heroin just to make it to the next day, that becomes your existence.

It took a couple overdoses for me to really realize I had a problem. That’s a dark place to get to.

I remember sobbing on the floor asking God to forgive me. I told Him I was going to do it His way and give my life to Him. It felt like a huge weight was lifted off of me. I started reading the Gospels, and where before it was just letters on a page, now it felt like words of life.

I talked to my brother about St. Thomas. I’d always loved the water, like it was something tied to my soul. A friend helped me get a plane ticket, and when I stepped off the plane it was bright, hot, and beautiful. I went to the Salvation Army looking for advice and work. I barely had enough money to stay one night in a cheap hotel.

The next morning I got on my knees and prayed, telling God that if He didn’t make a way, I didn’t know what I was going to do. I walked into a company called CRM, handed them my resume, and before I even got settled, the phone rang. They asked me to come in for an interview and offered me the job. I knew it wasn’t a coincidence.

Through the Salvation Army, I started going to church. It was a small church filled with people who loved Jesus and were there to worship. One day, Kevin told me he felt led by the Holy Spirit to give me an apartment until I could get back on my feet. I lived there for about six months.

I didn’t have friends, family, or much community. I prayed to God about how lonely I was. One day I met a woman, and I told her right away that my faith in Jesus was the most important thing to me. She told me she was a believer too. We grew close, but I felt convicted that we needed to do things the right way. We got married at St. Thomas Reformed Church with two witnesses.

From that point on, God blessed us tremendously. We started our own HVAC business, and it became very successful. I’ve learned that when you acknowledge God in all your ways, He directs your path.

No matter how bad you think you are, what you’ve done, or where you’re at in life, God can turn it around. All you have to do is fully surrender to Him. Your heart, mind, and thoughts will be changed. You become a new person. Even when life is good, it’s about maintaining a relationship with God.

I finally found what was missing. The only thing that ever satisfied me and healed me from all that hurt was Jesus. He was the only thing that ever truly took the pain away.